Perfect

By: Matt AKA Dad

Eva Marie Fegley, better known in our family as “Nana”, was MY grandmother. She took on many other roles in her life and was depended upon by many people over the years. She was a daughter, a sister, wife to one man, mother of 2 beautiful girls, grandmother of 4 boys, and great grandmother of 5 more boys. Nana also held several part-time and full-time jobs through her life, was an active member in her church, served on a local council, and was willing to help a community member at the drop of a hat.

Nana was never an overly affectionate woman. She was not adverse to a hug, but she wasn’t the type to cover you with kisses and it was rare to hear the words “I love you”. However, most of my favorite memories include Nana. Anytime we went to visit Nana and Pop, I would purposefully hurry ahead so that I would be the first to enter the kitchen, where I knew she’d be waiting. You see, I wanted to receive MY special greeting. “Hello Matt! How are you?!”, with the biggest, most genuine smile to be found. Whenever our visits were over, the goodbyes were equally emphatic, with a hint of sadness that we were leaving. I still remember that she would stand on her front porch waving goodbye until we disappeared from sight every single time we left. We only lived about 20 minutes away and visited almost once a week! That didn’t matter. We were her family and she was MY grandmother. She lived for those moments with us. 

After a graduated from college, I moved away and started a family of my own. Our visits were fewer and farther between. After some time, my mom helped Nana get a cellphone. Although Nana was usually a quick study, calling her and helping her operate this strange new device took tremendous patience. We would chat occasionally and get caught up with anything new in our lives. After my grandfather passed, I pledged to call her at least once a week, to check on her and comfort her. This went on for at least a year or two, when she started declining mentally. As I reflected on these phone calls, I realized something. These phone calls were just as much for me as they were for her. I was selfishly still needing that excited greeting. I never ended a phone call with her without feeling like the most important person in the world. Nana might have been a lot of things to a lot of people, but she was MY grandmother and in that role, she was perfect. 

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