Magic man
By: Matt AKA Dad
Having a little brother can be challenging at times, but if you play it right, it can be A LOT of fun. My brother Zack is 7 years younger than me so we didn’t have much in common for the first few years of his life. However, by the time he turned 4, it was clear that he was the entertainer of the family. I still remember him climbing onto the kitchen table during dinner and doing bodybuilding poses to show off his muscles! As he got older, Zack’s love of the spotlight grew. Enter Houdini.
I don’t really know where he learned about magicians or Houdini, but all of a sudden he was claiming to be an escape artist. It started small, with simple death-defying acts of escape from beneath a pile of couch cushions. It became trickier as we added blankets to the mix, wrapping him up like a mummy. My friends would come over and create different ways to contain Houdini Hoffman, but he would always find a way to escape. These fun escapades led up to two separate events that could have landed Zack in the hospital and me being grounded for a very long time.
It was a summer day and my parents were at work. My job was to stay home and watch my little brother (along with completing the daily list of chores). The day started normally enough. We had breakfast and got started on our list. One of my friends, Bum (yes that’s his nickname) showed up to help. It wasn’t too long before Zack started taunting Bum that he could escape anything. Challenge accepted. Bum convinced Zack that he should perform his next escape in his bedroom. I supervised as Bum wrapped him up with several bedsheets. I knew that it wouldn’t take Zack long to get out of it, but Bum had something else up his sleeve. He told Zack that he would give him a few minutes to figure it out and we’d come back to check on him. As we left, he closed the bedroom door and ran to the garage. He quickly came back with some rope, which he tied around the bedroom doorknob. He tied that to the doorknob across the hall, locking Zack in his room! It wasn’t long before we heard footsteps in Zack's bedroom as he walked to the door. He tried to pull it open several times before he realized what had happened. The thing is, he refused to admit he was beaten! After a few more minutes, there was a weird screeching noise coming from the bedroom. He was opening his bedroom window! Afraid that Zack was going to jump out the window from the second story, I hurried to untie the knots around the doorknobs. When we opened the door, Zack had a big smile on his face. He may not have gotten out on his own, but managed an escape nonetheless.
This next story happened many months later, after the great bedroom escape of ‘96. We were waiting for mom in the parking lot of the supermarket. Zack and I were in the backseat of our grey Camry trying to be patient. There wasn’t much people-watching to be had, so we needed something to do. Enter Houdini! Zack claimed he could escape the car trunk before mom got back. This was a bet that I KNEW I would win! I pulled the seat down so he could get into the trunk from the inside of the car. He crawled in and I shut it behind him. Some shuffling and bumps could be heard for the first few minutes. Then he started talking to me. “Hey Matt, are you still there?” “Do you think mom will be back soon?” He was starting to realize that he couldn’t get out, along with just how dark and confining the trunk is. Panic was starting to set in. “Ok I give up, let me out!” There was one problem. The seat was stuck! I was pushing the button and pulling like my life was on the line (it really was, my mom was gonna kill me). Zack started screaming and kicking at the seat. I needed to try something different. I tried pushing the trunk release button, but it didn’t pop up like usual! Oh no!! Back to the inside truck entry I went. I looked up at the store and could see our mom at the check out line! The terror in my brothers voice combined with the fear of my mother’s wrath had me frozen solid. I couldn’t remember how to work the trunk release anymore. I blacked out for a little. Next thing I knew, there was a “click” and the back seat was coming down! We had to move quickly, mom was exiting the store! Zack was wiping the tears from his eyes as I buckled his seatbelt. His escaping abilities were surpassed by his acting talents that day. He managed to look totally calm and normal by the time our mom was in the drivers seat. She never had any idea about what happened that day until we told her, many years later.
To my three boys, the point of this story is NOT to terrorize each other but to enjoy the time you have together. Uncle Bernie and I have quite a few fun shared memories because we made the most of each day we had. We weren’t just brothers, we were best friends.
I don’t really know where he learned about magicians or Houdini, but all of a sudden he was claiming to be an escape artist. It started small, with simple death-defying acts of escape from beneath a pile of couch cushions. It became trickier as we added blankets to the mix, wrapping him up like a mummy. My friends would come over and create different ways to contain Houdini Hoffman, but he would always find a way to escape. These fun escapades led up to two separate events that could have landed Zack in the hospital and me being grounded for a very long time.
It was a summer day and my parents were at work. My job was to stay home and watch my little brother (along with completing the daily list of chores). The day started normally enough. We had breakfast and got started on our list. One of my friends, Bum (yes that’s his nickname) showed up to help. It wasn’t too long before Zack started taunting Bum that he could escape anything. Challenge accepted. Bum convinced Zack that he should perform his next escape in his bedroom. I supervised as Bum wrapped him up with several bedsheets. I knew that it wouldn’t take Zack long to get out of it, but Bum had something else up his sleeve. He told Zack that he would give him a few minutes to figure it out and we’d come back to check on him. As we left, he closed the bedroom door and ran to the garage. He quickly came back with some rope, which he tied around the bedroom doorknob. He tied that to the doorknob across the hall, locking Zack in his room! It wasn’t long before we heard footsteps in Zack's bedroom as he walked to the door. He tried to pull it open several times before he realized what had happened. The thing is, he refused to admit he was beaten! After a few more minutes, there was a weird screeching noise coming from the bedroom. He was opening his bedroom window! Afraid that Zack was going to jump out the window from the second story, I hurried to untie the knots around the doorknobs. When we opened the door, Zack had a big smile on his face. He may not have gotten out on his own, but managed an escape nonetheless.
This next story happened many months later, after the great bedroom escape of ‘96. We were waiting for mom in the parking lot of the supermarket. Zack and I were in the backseat of our grey Camry trying to be patient. There wasn’t much people-watching to be had, so we needed something to do. Enter Houdini! Zack claimed he could escape the car trunk before mom got back. This was a bet that I KNEW I would win! I pulled the seat down so he could get into the trunk from the inside of the car. He crawled in and I shut it behind him. Some shuffling and bumps could be heard for the first few minutes. Then he started talking to me. “Hey Matt, are you still there?” “Do you think mom will be back soon?” He was starting to realize that he couldn’t get out, along with just how dark and confining the trunk is. Panic was starting to set in. “Ok I give up, let me out!” There was one problem. The seat was stuck! I was pushing the button and pulling like my life was on the line (it really was, my mom was gonna kill me). Zack started screaming and kicking at the seat. I needed to try something different. I tried pushing the trunk release button, but it didn’t pop up like usual! Oh no!! Back to the inside truck entry I went. I looked up at the store and could see our mom at the check out line! The terror in my brothers voice combined with the fear of my mother’s wrath had me frozen solid. I couldn’t remember how to work the trunk release anymore. I blacked out for a little. Next thing I knew, there was a “click” and the back seat was coming down! We had to move quickly, mom was exiting the store! Zack was wiping the tears from his eyes as I buckled his seatbelt. His escaping abilities were surpassed by his acting talents that day. He managed to look totally calm and normal by the time our mom was in the drivers seat. She never had any idea about what happened that day until we told her, many years later.
To my three boys, the point of this story is NOT to terrorize each other but to enjoy the time you have together. Uncle Bernie and I have quite a few fun shared memories because we made the most of each day we had. We weren’t just brothers, we were best friends.
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