Friends do because they wanna do
By: Matt AKA Dad
This is a post on the importance of friendship and how to tell who your real friends are. But in order for this first part to make sense, let me start by saying that I am a huge fan of the Rocky movie franchise. How big a fan? When my first son, Caiden, was born, I brought the Rocky I on DVD and played it in his hospital room so that it was the first movie he ever "saw". When my second son, Mason, was born, guess what he got to watch? Rocky II! When I found out my wife was pregnant again with my third son, I had Rocky III all ready to go. Unfortunately, there wasn't a DVD player in the hospital room for Collins or he would have gotten learn about "the eye of the tiger" on his day of birth. Now that we have established just how much this film franchise means to me, I want to share a lesser known line from it. Sylvester Stallone plays a sometimes slow-witted boxer in these movies, but he always seemed to come through with pearls of wisdom on various aspects of life. In Rocky III, he is arguing with his brother-in-law, Paulie, who is upset. He is upset that his life isn't going anywhere and he blames Rocky for not helping him more. He claims that family and friends owe each other a helping hand. Rocky responds with "nobody owes nobody nothin'. You owe yourself. Friends don't owe! They do because they wanna do."
Wow. Friends help each other because they want to. Not because it will make them look good. Not because they might pay them back later. Simply because that is what friends do. They don't ask for anything in return. To all of my students and my three boys, please keep this in mind when choosing your friends. Rocky didn’t want people in his debt, he wanted people to care about him or return the love and respect that he gave to them.
My own experience with friendship has been extremely lucky. I was fortunate enough to find three of my best friends by the age of 10. I’m now 38 and still talk to all 3 of them regularly. Based on my past experiences, I’d like to give you some questions to ask yourself about your friends or people you’re considering to fill that role: Would they come over on a Saturday and help you finish your chores? Mine did. Drive 10 hours across 4 states to keep you company at a wrestling tournament? Mine did. Would they push your car when yours ran out of gas? Mine did. Be willing to listen to your problems without judgement or offering unwanted advice? Mine did. Stay in touch for over a quarter century and still make each other laugh? Mine do. Treat your little brother like they were their own family? Mine did. Be groomsmen in each other’s weddings? We have.
Let’s wrap this up by going from Rocky Balboa’s wise words to a famous line by John Lennon, “I get by with a little help from my friends.”
Rocky & Paulie - 1976
This is a post on the importance of friendship and how to tell who your real friends are. But in order for this first part to make sense, let me start by saying that I am a huge fan of the Rocky movie franchise. How big a fan? When my first son, Caiden, was born, I brought the Rocky I on DVD and played it in his hospital room so that it was the first movie he ever "saw". When my second son, Mason, was born, guess what he got to watch? Rocky II! When I found out my wife was pregnant again with my third son, I had Rocky III all ready to go. Unfortunately, there wasn't a DVD player in the hospital room for Collins or he would have gotten learn about "the eye of the tiger" on his day of birth. Now that we have established just how much this film franchise means to me, I want to share a lesser known line from it. Sylvester Stallone plays a sometimes slow-witted boxer in these movies, but he always seemed to come through with pearls of wisdom on various aspects of life. In Rocky III, he is arguing with his brother-in-law, Paulie, who is upset. He is upset that his life isn't going anywhere and he blames Rocky for not helping him more. He claims that family and friends owe each other a helping hand. Rocky responds with "nobody owes nobody nothin'. You owe yourself. Friends don't owe! They do because they wanna do."
Wow. Friends help each other because they want to. Not because it will make them look good. Not because they might pay them back later. Simply because that is what friends do. They don't ask for anything in return. To all of my students and my three boys, please keep this in mind when choosing your friends. Rocky didn’t want people in his debt, he wanted people to care about him or return the love and respect that he gave to them.
My own experience with friendship has been extremely lucky. I was fortunate enough to find three of my best friends by the age of 10. I’m now 38 and still talk to all 3 of them regularly. Based on my past experiences, I’d like to give you some questions to ask yourself about your friends or people you’re considering to fill that role: Would they come over on a Saturday and help you finish your chores? Mine did. Drive 10 hours across 4 states to keep you company at a wrestling tournament? Mine did. Would they push your car when yours ran out of gas? Mine did. Be willing to listen to your problems without judgement or offering unwanted advice? Mine did. Stay in touch for over a quarter century and still make each other laugh? Mine do. Treat your little brother like they were their own family? Mine did. Be groomsmen in each other’s weddings? We have.
Let’s wrap this up by going from Rocky Balboa’s wise words to a famous line by John Lennon, “I get by with a little help from my friends.”
Rocky & Paulie - 1976
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