Rules of the road

By: Matt AKA Dad

Let’s be honest, everyone loves lists. People also love unwritten rules. It’s about time we get the “unwritten rules” of the road down for future generations.


  1. When merging, if someone lets you into their lane ahead of them, you have to give the obligatory wave. 
  2. Know your audience - there’s nothing wrong with playing your music loud, especially if “Bohemian Rhapsody” is on. However, be aware of your surroundings! Pulling up to your buddy’s house on a Friday with (fill in With current favorite artist) playing, totally fine. Driving past a funeral procession with AC/DC’s  “highway to hell” blasting, not cool.
  3. Giving the head nod or wave - You know that poor guy holding the stop/slow sign at a road construction sight? When he turns the sign and allows you past, give him a nod or salute. If someone lets you merge in front of them, make sure you let them know that you appreciate it.
  4. Unless you are handicapped or injured, find a parking spot near the back of the parking lot. If you take a spot close to the store, that means someone’s grandmother has to walk a lot further because of your lazy butt!
  5. Know your role - driver has final say on music and where to stop to eat. Front passenger AKA shotgun is responsible for directions and entertainment. If the front passenger cannot perform either job to the drivers expectations, the driver reserves the right to send them to the backseat or drop them off. Backseat passenger, keep your criticisms to yourself!
  6. Stay within 10 miles per hour of the speed limit. If you get pulled over for doing 7 over, I’m willing to deal with that. 
  7. Please understand how a roundabout works. Yield, look to your left, if the coast is clear, KEEP GOING!
  8. Let me save you time: Surfing on the roof of a car, bad idea. Snow tubing behind a large truck, bad idea. High-fiving someone driving past you going 40 mph, very bad idea. 
  9. There are some angry people on the road. Chances are, you will come across one of them at some point. When you do, they like to do something called “flipping the bird”. Don’t let it get you down. The best way to get back at these people? Refuse to let them bring you to their level. Instead, give ‘em a big smile and wave thanks!
Joking aside, please be safe when you drive. If you think something might be a bad idea, ask yourself if you would do it with me in the car. All it takes is one mistake to change your life or someone you love.

Love,

Dad

Bonus - Uncle Bern’s take: Know how to change a tire, be able to survive a winter night in a stranded car, know how to extract from an oil deposit (put gas in your car), be a AAA member, and buy an EZ pass.

Extra bonus -

I was recently riding with a friend of mine.

We were coming to a red light, and he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" He tells me this is how his brother drives.

We come to another red light, and again, he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" Again, he tells me this is how his brother drives.

We come to a green light, and he slams on the brakes. My heart nearly goes into my throat. I shouted at him, "Why did you do that?!"

He replied, "You never know, my brother could be coming the other way."

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